HOW TO BE A GOOD DOG

Buddy tries very hard to be a good dog.

Unlike some dogs, he comes when he is called, sits when asked and isn’t destructive.
I don’t think it is as easy as it might seem, he has to concentrate very hard on remembering what he IS supposed to do, what he ISN’T supposed to do, and all of the numerous things he is supposed to keep in mind on a daily basis. I know this exhausts him because he SLEEPS ALL THE TIME. Here is his guide.

“How to be a good dog” by Buddy McIntyre

1. Sitting
You can’t sit on EVERYTHING. You can sit on THIS and you can sit on THAT, BUT THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU CAN’T SIT ON LIKE THE WHITE CHAIR. The exception to this rule is that you can do that AFTER your owners have left until you hear the key in the door.

2. Chewing
You can chew on your toys and bones. Don’t chew on the legs of the tables, if you must do this,
carefully place one of your chew toys RIGHT NEXT TO THE LEG, and then when they aren’t looking, chew on the table leg in the corner of the room beside the couch in the back, where they won’t notice. Always remember to not chew on the shoes, they REALLY don’t like it when you chew on the shoes.

3. Sniffing
Sniff all dogs’ butts. There are no exceptions to this rule.

4. Peeing
Lift your leg REALLY HIGH when you pee. If you almost fall over, so be it.

Similar rules apply to peeing as do chewing. You CAN pee on this; you CAN’T pee on that, if they have totally forgotten you and you absolutely can’t hold it any longer go in the spare bedroom in the back corner by bed. By the time they find it, they will think it is too late to yell at you.

5. Forgetting the rules

If you forget any of these rules, put your head down, and look very apologetic and adorable.

They will forgive you

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