Buddy’s Haircuts Cost More than Mine

I go to a fairly upscale salon to get my hair cut. Let me rephrase that. I go to a ridiculously expensive hair salon to get my hair cut.  Do you remember the huge media flap when John Edwards paid $250 for haircuts?  Yeah, he got his hair cut there a couple of times. I have a junior designer cut my hair, so I don’t pay THAT much, but you get the picture.

So you can imagine my surprise to find out it costs MORE MONEY TO CUT BUDDY’S HAIR THAN IT COSTS TO CUT MINE.  No one told me this.

Buddy is a small dog. A sixteen pound sit –on-your-lap-and-look-adorable dog.  I think his whole body is smaller than my head. You are going to have to take my word on that because I just don’t know how I can figure out how much my head weighs.

When we decided to get Buddy I was told he was non-shedding, hypo-allergenic, fluffy and adorable.    All true, but what they didn’t tell me that it would cost MORE MONEY TO CUT HIS HAIR THAN IT WOULD COST TO CUT MINE.

I decided a while ago that I just wasn’t going to pay that much to get him groomed and how-hard-is-it-to-wash-a dog-and-cut-his-hair-anyway. Armed with doggie shampoo, towels, scissors and my hairdryer, I put him in the kitchen sink and with great sloshing and splashing managed to wash him. I blew his fur dry and despite looking like some sort of odd cotton ball Pokémon, I managed to trim his fur. Well OK, it was kind of crooked but it wasn’t THAT bad.

The next day the scratching started. He ran around the living room with his head on the floor like a little fuzzy lawn mower.  Chewing and scratching he began to create little raw areas all over his body. I brought him into the vet who supplied potions, salves, some sort of doggy antihistamine and a plastic cone to wear so he couldn’t chew or scratch. Apparently his fur had matted, so the vet also had to shave off random little circles of fur which made him look like a neglected child with ringworm.

So from that point forward, Buddy has gone to the groomer every six weeks. I just wanted to tell you this:  If you are considering getting an adorable fluffy non-shedding hypo-allergenic dog, it is going to cost you more to cut his hair than yours.

A lot more.

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